Bowerbirds,Sparklies, and the “Birdbrain” in Me and You

bowerbird1 Satin_Bowerbird_Ptilonorhynchus_violaceusWhen I worked in the education department at the local zoo, I wrote curriculum for the summer kindergarten track of Camp Zoo. “Animal Artists” was one week’s theme, and I researched animal behavior to reflect painters, sculptors, weavers and architects. Bowerbirds came up in my search of nest builders, and the courting behavior of male bowerbirds made me shake my head in wonder at the similarities between animals and human beings. Males build a nest, or bower, on the ground, and place shiny, sparkly, colorful articles around it to attract females. According to an encyclopedia article:

 

The most notable characteristic of bowerbirds is their extraordinarily complex courtship and mating behaviour, where males build a bower to attract mates. There are two main types of bowers. One clade of bowerbirds build so-called maypole bowers, which are constructed by placing sticks around a sapling; in some species, these bowers have a hut-like roof. The other major bower building clade builds an avenue type-bower made of two walls of vertically placed sticks. In and around the bower, the male places a variety of brightly colored objects he has collected. These objects — usually different among each species — may include hundreds of shells, leaves, flowers, feathers, stones, berries, and even discarded plastic items, coins, nails, rifle shells, or pieces of glass. The males spend hours arranging this collection. Bowers within a species share a general form but do show significant variation, and the collection of objects reflects the biases of males of each species and its ability to procure items from the habitat, often stealing them from neighboring bowers. Several studies of different species have shown that colors of decorations males use on their bowers match the preferences of females. Mate-searching females commonly visit multiple bowers, often returning to the male several times, watching his elaborate courtship displays and inspecting the quality of the bower.

 

Sparkly, shiny, colorful objects, the more, the better. And how, I ask myself, is that any different from the world of online dating or the world of human behavior in general? Yes, I had to venture into the fields and forests of online dating sites, and the simple and silly truth is that people – both men and women – build profiles much like bowerbirds build nests, with ”sparklies” like their income, education, possessions, interests, and travels, and the more stuff and flirty quips, the better. Photos posed in exotic locales, at a bar or table with a glass in hand, on the golf course, standing beside a fast car …Sadly, that’s what we look for in others all too often. Equally sadly, that’s what we want others to see in us to attract them.

 

I wasn’t hugely successful in the world of online dating, probably because I was looking for more than shine and sparkle and a resume of accomplishments: I was looking for real substance: integrity, faith, honesty, kindness, generosity, humility, purpose, warmth. I wrote an openly honest assessment of myself, including my wrinkles from 21 years of hiking with two Boy Scout sons, and when I read other profiles, I Iooked for key words like those in a man’s self-description. Hmm …rare as hens’ teeth, as my mother used to say.

 

What does God want us to value in each other? He certainly tells us something important through the words of Samuel as he searched for God’s choice for Israel’s king:

 

 

The Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king.”  But Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears about it, he will kill me.” The Lord said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.’  Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate. Samuel did what the Lord said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, “Do you come in peace?”

Samuel replied, “Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me.” Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice. When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.” But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:1-7 NIV

 

He said to them, “You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of others, but God knows your hearts. What people value highly is detestable in God’s sight. Luke 16:15 NIV

 

All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Proverbs 16:2 NIV

 

“‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly. Leviticus 19: 15

 

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31: 30-31 NIV

 

Your adornment must not be merely external– braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV

 

I have to check myself daily, fighting the impulse to value others by how much money they make, how much education they have, what job they hold, what car they drive, how they speak, what church they do or don’t attend -that I don’t judge the people I meet by their appearance – including tattoos, piercings, and unnaturally colored hair – and by their income or house or job status. Compatibility comes from shared values and character much more than externals. What good would it do me to be married to a man who scorned Jesus, loved money, looked down his nose at the homeless, but made a six-figure income and loved to travel in his Ferrari? That would be a match made in hell. How counter-cultural is that?

 

Oh, Father God, deliver us from our bowerbird nature! Give us Your eyes to see the value in one another, appreciate character, kindness, and honesty above wallet and neighborhood and facelift. Give us hearts of wisdom, O Lord.to view ourselves in the light of the way You see us, in truth and humility, and teach us to value others for what You placed in them and see in them. Give me the grace to receive a hug from a homeless person with the same gratitude I’d receive it from a billionaire.

 

As for the days of our life, they contain seventy years,

Or if due to strength, eighty years,

Yet their pride is but labor and sorrow;

For soon it is gone and we fly away.

Who understands the power of Your anger

And Your fury, according to the fear that is due You?

So teach us to number our days,

That we may present to You a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90: 10-12 NIV

 

A “…BUT…”to pray:   Oh ,Lord, search me and know my heart, try me and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.   God Almighty, I know I shouldn’t judge, BUT I do, based on __________________________________________. Yes, bowerbird as charged, BUT you can give me new eyes. Help me to see ________________________________________________ not simply because it’s the right thing to do, but because You want the best for me and in me, out of Your purity, righteousness, and love. So, Holy Spirit, dig deeply, root out the insecurities, sparklies and shinies that I push out in front of me so others think I’m valuable and desirable, and help me to dig deeply to find the true value you invested in me _______________________________________________. In Jesus’ name, Amen. Holy Spirit, I’m listening _______________________________________________

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Check “OTHER” – GOD is NOT Just a Good Idea!

Today is a replay. Given all the shaking and winds and waves not only in the physical world, but in governments and the political sphere, I  think I need to reiterate this thought. Thank you, Francis Chan,  for nudging me to agree with your message today! First, Francis:

 

I strongly suspect we take God’s mercy lightly. Evidently we think God sent Jesus because we deserved it. Nothing could be further from the truth. We deserved God’s wrath. He sent Jesus because HE is worth/deserved it: God deserves a people who walk in holiness and purity, fully aware of his glory, majesty, holiness, purity, splendor, reality, presence, being, and fully aware of what GRACE means, the price paid for us to come into relationship with him,with his love, BUT aligned with his righteousness. The Blood that HE shed for us is the costliest fluid in the universe, and I need, speaking for myself, to be aware of the value of that Blood.

I picked myself up off the floor this morning long enough to share this with you. I pray God’s manifest presence enters and covers your life, your day, our nation, and the world today, and yes, I have a tiny idea of what that really means and the consequences of what I’m asking: reverential fear, awe and awareness of and reverence for WHO we’ve been “messing and trifling with” to flood our lives, and our personal and corporate realignment and recalibration with HIS Word, HIS will, HIS worship.

Back to the floor ……

The check box “OTHER” has often been my answer of choice on surveys and sometimes on standardized tests when none of the choices or answers seems to fit quite rightly. When I did analogies on IQ tests in school, I could often see relationships between more than one of the answers, and I always wished those tests had a “free response” section so I could elaborate on connections I saw in multiple choices.

“For He is like ….” In writing about the passage in Malachi 2: 17-3:6, John Piper writes:

“He is a refiner’s fire, and that makes all the difference. A refiner’s fire does not destroy indiscriminately like a forest fire. A refiner’s fire does not consume completely like the fire of an incinerator. A refiner’s fire refines. It purifies. It melts down the bar of silver or gold, separates out the impurities that ruin its value, burns them up, and leaves the silver and gold intact. He is like a refiner’s fire.”

“God is like …” – I read analogies about God all through the Bible, yet still I sense the need for a check box of “OTHER” when I try to grasp all of the Being of God. Sometimes in frustration I’ve wished I could step out of the skin of my humanity with all the physical limitations of my cells, amino acids and proteins, to truly behold God in all of His Glory and Presence. So far, all I’ve experienced are flashes of God’s Presence that literally made my heart skip beats, shut my mouth to any possible conversation or exclamation, and sometimes dropped me to my face on the floor.

And all those experiences did was make me hunger and long for more of them.

Somehow I sense that I the modern-day American evangelical church we have focused so single-mindedly on God’s grace, mercy and love that we have completely overlooked His Holiness, His “OTHER”-ness.

Deity is not an easy concept to grasp. We know nothing of it in our everyday lives, in the realm of the natural, and until and unless we come into a true relationship with God through receiving his Son Jesus as Savior, the only receptors/detectors we’re equipped with are our five senses, totally inadequate for grasping the HOLY.

Some religions reduce God’s Deity to human terms by claiming God “came down” physically and was sexually intimate with Mary to conceive Jesus. How we try, in our finite understanding, to bring God down to human terms we can grapple with or, worse, elevate our status to godhood! God alone is Deity, God alone is Holy, and it is nothing less than truly supernaturally miraculous that through Jesus’ death on the cross and his resurrection, God sanctifies our humanity. He does not make us smaller versions of Himself. God’s Holy Spirit comes into us to make us figuratively sanctified, cleansed and honored just as the cups and utensils in the Tempe were. In effect, God’s Spirit connected with our spirit by a means undetectable to our five senses, but very much felt within us, means God chooses to reside within our hearts and spirits as He did in the Holy of Holies in the Tempe in Jerusalem.

Do I “get it”? No. Do I believe it? Yes. Not me, not by my effort or merit. “OTHER.”

God is not in every tree, but every tree is OF God’s creative power. God is not contained (limited) in me. I am an image-bearer, but the image I carry within me because of my relationship with Jesus is a partial reflection of the character and nature of God, a reflection only of someone outside of myself.

One day, quite innocently and unaware of what an answer would do within me, I asked God to give me his heart for a person I was having trouble “loving.” I cannot humanly explain what happened, but I came into contact somehow with a love deeper, more passionate, more understanding and enduring than I had ever before experienced for another human being. “OTHER” is the only way I can describe the encounter.

Since that day I often see a beauty within people that I know I missed before. This ability did not come from me, generate from some goodness within me. I can only describe it as Holy.

I long to give this experience to others, but I can’t. Only God himself can transform so profoundly. I long for others, for you, to know God’s Presence, his Holiness. Periodically I have to take myself out of the “God is my friend” mentality that is true, but isn’t wide or deep enough to accommodate Deity in my perception., and restore God in my thinking to his Holy, Divine, Majestic place as Deity and the sole right focus of my worship and obedient surrender. I am compelled to not give in to those people who demand or expect me worship them. I can love them, but I can’t worship anyone but God Almighty.

Worship is defined as reverent honor and homage paid to God or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred; adoring reverence or regard. It is both an act and, more importantly, an attitude toward.

Perhaps today it’s time in your life to try to take in, apprehend, or at least acknowledge God’s Holiness, Majesty, Splendor, worth, Divinity, OTHER-ness.

I am the LORD your God. You shall have no other gods before me. Exodus 20: 3

Which of these titles belongs to you, my fellow human being all too often ensnared by narcissistic, selfish tendencies, desires, and expectations of others?

God is an all-consuming fire, A Refiner’s Fire. A crown of beauty. A Great High Priest. A Jealous God. A Hiding Place.. A Scepter. A Strong Tower. Alpha and Omega. Creator. King of kings. Lord of lords.

Adonai-Jehovah — The Lord our Sovereign

El-Elyon — The Lord Most High

El-Olam — The Everlasting God

El-Shaddai — The God Who is Sufficient for the Needs of His People

Jehovah-Elohim — The Eternal Creator

Jehovah-Jireh — The Lord our Provider

Jehovah-Nissi — The Lord our Banner

Jehovah-Ropheka — The Lord our Healer

Jehovah-Shalom — The Lord our Peace

Jehovah-Tsidkenu — The Lord our Righteousness

Jehovah-Mekaddishkem — The Lord our Sanctifier

Jehovah-Sabaoth — The Lord of Hosts

Jehovah-Shammah — The Lord is Present

Jehovah-Rohi — The Lord our Shepherd

Jehovah-Hoseenu — The Lord our Maker

Jehovah-Eloheenu — The Lord our God

In my emphasis on God’s love and mercy, do I forget God’s Holiness?

And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the Lord’s commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?

To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. Yet the Lord set his affection on your ancestors and loved them, and he chose you, their descendants, above all the nations—as it is today. Circumcise your hearts, therefore, and do not be stiff-necked any longer. For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes…. Fear the Lord your God and serve him. Deuteronomy 10: 12-20 NIV

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens. Psalms 8:1

Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness. Psalms 29:2

Psalm 93:1 The LORD reigns, he is robed in majesty; the LORD is robed in majesty and armed with strength; indeed, the world is established, firm and secure.

Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the LORD, our Maker! Psalms 95:6

Exalt the LORD our God; worship at his footstool! Holy is he! Psalms 99:5

Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” John 4: 21-24 NIV

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted, seated on a throne; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory.” At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. Isaiah 6: 1-4 NIV

Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: “Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.

the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say: “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being. Revelation 4:10-11

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1: 15-16

So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:12-13

Holy, holy, holy Lord, God of power and might. Heaven and Earth are filled with Your Glory. Hosanna, hosanna in the highest!

Pray a “…BUT…” to God: Lord God Almighty, I bow before You and I confess and gladly say that You are __________________________________________________ and I am not, BUT because I belong to you and Your Holy Spirit lives in me, I am ____________________________________________________________. I want to experience You more as__________________________________________ and please, God Almighty, make me aware of __________________________________ Help me to live in greater recognition and wonder of _______________________ every day and help me to see You in __________________________________________. Help me to bear your image in this situation where I struggle to live as I know you want me to live __________________________________________________________ You ARE Holy and wholly OTHER, and I ____________________________________. I rejoice in You and Worship You! In Jesus’ name, Amen! Holy Spirit, I’m listening _________________________________________________________

I’ll Never Find Another You

Gosh, my age is showing here, but I heard this song in my head this morning and amazingly remembered the name of the group, The Seekers. Hmmm… God speaks throughout culture sometimes in ways we only recognize later. In 1967 I/we thought this song was about that true, starry-eyed, Prince Charming/Cinderella faithful human love we’d find, but now after experiencing the if/because/when/until transience of conditional human love, I hear it more as a song about Jesus and God’s love for us through him. Now we’re – or some of us are – old enough to that know His, or human love fueled by His, is the only love that won’t walk away or fail us when we mess up.

For all of us Seekers, one of my favorite promises from God are in the words Moses spoke to Joshua:

Then Moses called to Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land which the LORD has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall give it to them as an inheritance. “The LORD is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”Deuteronomy 31:7-8 NIV

The Lord appeared to us in the past,saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3

I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high. Leviticus 26:13

Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me. Isaiah 49: 13-16

And Jesus was and is God’s love incarnate, made flesh. He told his followers, “I am the gate for the sheep… I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. I am the  good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” ” John 10:7, 10-11 NIV

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you…as the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.”  John 15:4,9

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us. 1 John 3:16-24 ESV

I’m dumping “limerence” (that little “tingle in the belly” and stars in the eyes) that we so easily mistake for true love, putting it in its proper place as a temporary hormonal response that depends on the limbic system, and holding out for Jesus’ kind of courageous, marathon, forgiving and unflinching love. It’s the only kind worth giving, too, so that’s my aim and target, to be that kind of love for another/others.

No ejection seat, no parachute … just always, “forever and a day.”

True confession: I have the purple mini skirt dress I bought with my first paycheck in 1968, Carnaby Street look with a vest to go with it, and I can still wear it. I gelled and scotch taped my bangs, as all of us did back then, but my hair never would stay straight and flat ….. and still won’t. Older and hopefully wiser, my feet feel the”pony” coming on while my wavy hair does the same thing it’s done since 1968: wave. Somethings never change: my wavy hair, and, more importantly, God’s love and faithfulness.Let me dance for YOU, Jesus, and as I walk through the storm, you’ll be my guide, for I know I’ll never  find another YOU.

Can you lift this song in thanks to God for the unchanging, timeless, unconditional love he sent through Jesus? Let these words speak to you too, about his love for you:

There’s a new world somewhere
They call the promised land.
And I’ll be there someday
If you could hold my hand.
I still need you there beside me
No matter what I do
For I know I’ll never find another you.
There is always someone
For each of us, they say.
And you’ll be my someone
Forever and a day.
I could search the whole world over
Until my life is through
But I know I’ll never find another you.
It’s a long, long journey
So stay by my side.
When I walk through the storm
You’ll be my guide, be my guide.
If they gave me a fortune
My pleasure would be small.
I could lose it all tomorrow
And never mind at all.
But if I should lose your love, Lord,
I don’t know what I’d do
For I know I’ll never find another you.

A “…BUT…” to pray:  sometimes, God, it’s hard to believe that you can love me. People sure don’t love me, or act like they love me, when I mess up. I know I’m all too often the same, getting angry when others don’t meet my expectations, yet wanting mercy from those same others when I mess up. BUT here I am, Father God, standing in need of you more than anyone else. Remind me who I’ve failed and should ask forgiveness from _____________________________Remind me who’s failed me,  and I should extend a loving hand to anyway_______________________ Most of all, today, remind me of who YOU are to me ________________________________________ and who I am to you, Jesus ____________________________________________________