In my quiet time this morning – and boy, does God go to work on me – I see so clearly that you want and need what we all want and need; you want to feel wanted and need to be needed. Pop psychology, Oprah and Dr. Phil to the contrary, it isn’t healthy to be so independent and walled in by boundaries that we “don’t need anyone else for our happiness.” That’s simply not true. True, we need healthy boundaries to keep out harmful influences, but total independence builds walls around us that keep out the need for love God created in us, both as givers and receivers.
Yes, I am a “traditional” woman with traditional values, born into a less competitive and compulsive culture and time when relationships mattered more than accomplishment, I recognize the influence of my culture and family, and I don’t apologize for being myself. Yes, we are all influenced by the culture and the era in which we grew up and in which we live, but we don’t have to be SHAPED by those times, expectations and distortions. My worth doesn’t come from being “hip” to culture or making money or being in an influential job or looking like the models and stars on television or in magazines; my worth comes from being true to my self, the person God created me to be: alive, loving, passionate, compassionate, open, giving and forgiving. Those are God’s values, not culture’s, and those values are timeless. I choose to keep my heart free from the schemes of perversion and distortion of what’s important and lasting, even when those come in contemporary cultural wrappings.
Contrary to what people might think, what my children remember isn’t going to exotic places for vacations or all the gadgets and technology we bought them. They remember camping out in the backyard to watch lunar eclipses, playing board games, reading bedtime stories, running through the backyard sprinklers, the sheets I hung up outside for them to paint on with watercolors, then wash off with the hose, the letters I secretly wrote them from their “imaginary friends” and put under their bedroom doors in the mornings, leaf boats we sailed down rain water in the gutters, olive and green pepper faces I made on their sandwiches (and on my husband’s, because he needed love in his lunch, too) and fun notes I put in their lunch boxes.
I hope what my friends remember are the times we laughed together, looked each other in the eyes, hugged and cried together, picnics and baking parties we had, Christmas decorations and crafts we made together in each other’s homes, the silly day we sat in the backyard with cucumber slices on our eyes and yogurt and honey on our faces, the times we made “Joy boxes” to take to people in hospitals or going through hard times, all of the just being ourselves true to our hearts and each other.
I enjoy contemporary worship songs and even the “smoke and lights and mirrors” that seem omnipresent in worship services now, and old hymns from a hundred years before I was born still bring me to my feet and bring me to tears. I am gratified that when I teach children, I’m able to bring creativity into the mix to help them learn and have fun. I am amazed that I’ve been able to present workshops and write books that touched people’s lives in uplifting, encouraging ways. That kind of work mattered to me. The constant in everything that touched and touches me is God’s relentless love and unchanging grace, glad presence, great power, and mercy.
I have a self to be true to, not so I shine, but so Jesus shines through me. You have a self to be true to as well and your own unique way to reflect God’s love in your corner in the world. No one else can be who you are, do what you do, say what you can say our of your heart, reach where you reach, reflect the colors of God out of the your experience, or love as you love.
Today I have to ask myself what’s more important: what I have in my house and in my bank account and on my resume, or what and who I have in my heart? What comes into my hands or what comes out of my life? I would be true …….
I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
I would be pure, for there are those who care;
I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare.
I would be friend of all—the foe, the friendless;
I would be giving, and forget the gift;
I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
I would look up, and laugh, and love and lift.
I would look up, and laugh, and love and lift.
Words by Howard A. Walter, 1906
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:1-18 NIV
A “… BUT …” to move: Oh, Father, I know I let other people influence me too much, more than I let your Word and your values influence me. I listen to the voices of culture more than I listen for your voice. I do have to live where I am, in the time I am, BUT God, help me to see who YOU created me to be, and help me to shift from ____________________________________________ to ___________________________________________________. Help me to value ___________________________________________________________________________________ and to be patient in ______________________________________________________________________. Where do I need you to change me?_________________________________________ Help me, Father, to bless _______________________________________________ by ____________________________________________________________. Most of all, help me to KNOW how much you have invested your love and grace into me, so I can hold my head up and know that I am _____________________________________________________. In Jesus’ name, Amen and Hooray!