No words

Reading a psychology article today, I hear the author say that Christians are just trying to validate themselves by pushing to make others like themselves. Hmmm… if all we were sharing what was simply a good idea or another philosophy, I would agree.

BUT … when I hear the words of “How Deep the Father’s Love For Us,” and think of the line, “the Father turned his face away …” my heart both shrinks and swells. What must it have meant, have felt, for Yahweh Adonai, El Shaddai, ABBA Father, to turn his face away from the sins marring the body of his Son? What did it mean to Jesus Yeshua and what excruciating anguish did he feel to be severed even momentarily from oneness, relationship and the love of his ABBA Adonai?

Immediately my heart says, “God, I wasn’t worth it! Not one of us, not all of us together were worth one drop of that blood or one millisecond of that pain to You and to Yeshua.” And immediately I know that it was not about my worth, our worth, but about God’s great love. “Yin and Yang,” both at the same time I wasn’t worth it YET God says I am! The One who created the Universes says I mean that much to Him.

So much for our egos, both damaged and inflated. One voice, One Love, says each one of us was and is worth it.  Oh Lamb of God, in humility and in awe-struck wondrous love I come.

Why on earth would I not want everyone on Earth to know this love? It has NOTHING to do with my ego or my validation, yet it is about my worth, your worth. It is about His love, period.  Jesus plus nothing. Family-praising-God1  Your “…BUT…” to move:  Oh, Father God, i see myself as so unworthy of your love because I __________________________________ and YET, BUT you proclaim how precious I am to you through Jesus. Help me to believe that truly you __________________________________ when you think of me and you want me to know how much ______________________________________________. Help me to accept YOUR words and love over me in my life, and help me to look at Jesus’ righteousness as a gift you give to me. I think I need to share this with ______________________ so give me wisdom, courage, the right words and an opportunity to ___________________________. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Mr "Good Wrench" and "Good Advice"

Sorry all that this is just a quick glimpse into what the Spirit said to me Tuesday, August 15. Driving to work I heard Lysa Terkeurst and Amanda Carroll on KLOVE radio, Lisa talking about her new book Unglued and about ratcheting our anger when we’re repeatedly offended. 

Oh, Eureka! Exactly what my beloved did over 34 years and more of our life together: put his arm to the wrench and ratchet down on the nuts of anger, bitterness, contempt, offense, unforgiveness, wounding, and self-preserving seeking on the tires of his life, so tightly that he can’t let go of his wounded emotions and cultural-norm “look out for yourself” choices. No wonder he’s stuck!

A very able engineer, he always warned me and our sons not to let a tire dealer use the pneumatic wrench to snug down the bolts on the nuts of our wheels too tightly, or we’d never be able to break them loose if we had to change a flat on the road. Ah, but beloved, you did just that, and I almost did until I saw the lies I was believing about your motivation in the things you said and did, and started believing that you DID love me in the ways you could. 

Oh, the PNEUMA of the Holy Spirit to break free the lock-down on our “lug nuts” and fix our flats, give us re-treads or just plain new tires to keep us moving in God’s direction and purposes! This may be a copyrighted phrase, BUT I praise ” Mr. Good Wrench” Jesus and the Holy Spirit to do the releasing for us what we can’t do ourselves if we let him!

And the “good advice”? Disclaimer: I am no one’s Savior, I’m heartily glad Jesus took that role upon himself, and I surrender that right and role to him. I was wondering, though,  how Jesus would have responded in the Garden of Gethsemane to, and how our lives now and forever would play out if Jesus took the advice of, some solid psychologists and counselors who ought to have been there in his agony instead of the snoozing Peter, James and John. Can you hear their advice to him, like the advice given to me?

“It’s time to look out for yourself.”
“Do what’s best for you.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“You can’t change them. They have their own free will.”
“You need to establish healthy boundaries for yourself.”

And the best one, the one I hear caregivers say at the preschool every day : “Just walk away.”

How would YOU have counseled Jesus to respond in his situation?   What if he had? Aren’t you glad he didn’t?


So flying in the face of what sounds “right” is our fully functional, not dysfunctional, Lord and lover of our souls Jesus.

Here’s the world’s best “. . . But . . .” to pray:  I was lost in my selfishness and self-seeking frantic attempts to validate myself and find love, and I’ve wounded other people in the search, BUT JESUS YOU DIDN’T WALK AWAY! You thought of me and gave yourself, and in YOUR GIFT I have validation and amazing love now and forever! Jesus, Mr. Good Wrench, put the arm of your love on the lug nuts of my anger and bitterness over ____________________________ and break me free, change my heart, fill me with the penuma – air- breath – of the Holy Spirit so my heart is free to love ________________________________.