But I never traveled alone ….

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Hong Kong island from the Aberdeen side, 2006

Yesterday during my conversation with my long-time friends Belva and Maureen, I realized something positively and powerfully true: in the four times I’ve flown alone to Asia and back, and the one time with my younger son, I never WAS alone.

Trip # 1, crossing the Pacific roughly eleven hours after I heard the news that sent me online to book a flight, on the phone to call my friend Julia to hopefully connect with her  parents in Hong Kong,  and then hurriedly to the bedroom to pack a suitcase, I  tried to keep my  heart and mind at peace  by reading Brendan Manning’s book “Ruthless Trust.” He wrote, “ For me and many others, Jesus is the revelation of the only God worthy of trust … The promise of his (God’s) presence and the presence of his promise ….” I prayed all the way for safety and  health for my daughter-in-law  and newly arriving over two months too early granddaughter. Was I alone? NO! God’sars of promise and peace wrapped me on that flight, and HE proved his promises are faithful when 1) I easily found Julia’s mother in the airport and 2) Elsa arrived safely and never developed a serious complication in the seven weeks she was in the NICU. I counted 21 miracles on that trip! You may think  miracles are only things like raising the dead and restoring seeing eyes  to the blind, but when God arranges  three successive apartments to stay in on an island with mile-high rents and hotel room costs, a complete Thanksgiving dinner when the best you were  hoping for was turkey sandwiches at a deli, and warmly welcoming people – strangers who became friends –  in a church in Kowloon,  I call those miracles.

Trip # 2, crossing the Pacific again, this time to mainland China and Thailand, on the   I remained in good health and relative clarity of mind  despite the 35 hours without sleep. On my return trip  with what I thought was plenty of time  to  transfer in the airport  in Hong Kong, I was able to pick up my bags (which couldn’t be checked through), check them through security, go outside the terminal, go back into the international side of  the terminal, go through security again, check my bags, go through security again, and get an iced tea at the Starbucks  right beside  my gate with a whopping eight minutes to spare before  boarding  the plane!  Was I alone? NO!

Trip #3,  again to mainland China and Thailand, no issues  going, but coming back I flew from the interior to another mainland airport where, surely, there would be signs in English and English-speaking workers who could direct me to the van to get to the ferry to get across the harbor to the airport.  Uh,  wrong. I exited the terminal to a parking lot  filled with vans with nothing but Mandarin characters on them. Just as God says in Isaiah 30: 21, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” And that’s exactly what happened, when God provided an airline pilot from Taiwan, walking behind  me, to guide me to the van that went to the ferry terminal. Was I alone? NO WAY!

Trip #4, the trip  that Orbitz almost  cancelled due to a  flight change by Korean Airlines, thanks to the 24-hour flu bug I caught, I was able to talk directly to Korean Air and salvage my  trip by leaving a day early, with the added benefit of staying in a hotel in Seoul to rest up, have lunch, and exercise in the hotel gym. On the way back I was  blessed with an extra day to stay with dear friends in Chiang Mai, get a  birthday massage, and hear an incredible story of God’s power and providence. Was I alone, ever? NOT EVER!

Trip $5 to mainland China with my younger son, with (again, we thought) ample time to arrive in Beijing and catch our flight  to the interior, we met  an impossibly long line at immigration, surely too long for us to get through and catch our flight. BUT a cleaning woman directed us (and how did she speak English and see our predicament??) directed us to go through the diplomaticl ine. Then when the inter-terminal train  zipped right past the terminal we needed  and deposited us at the next terminal, again Isaiah 30:21 in the form of a Chinese university professor  behind us, traveling back home (to the same city we were  heading for) from teaching in Texas, who helped us navigate security and find the train that WOULD take us  to the terminal we needed. Then when Satan broke all Heck loose at the next security checkpoint, we  still made it to the gate in time to  board  just before they closed the boarding.

Oh,Rose, why do you ever doubt God’s love and PRESENCE? I can almost  hear my eternally patient Heavenly Father saying,”Tsk, tsk, my beloved daughter, how many times  do I  have to pull your  hide out of the fire before you WILL TRUST MY LOVE FOR YOU and THAT MY PLANS ARE FOR YOUR GOOD???

 

I actually got word from God back in 2013 through an intercessor at a Healing Room – and NOT  the intercessors I was praying with – that said, “I’m trying to bless you. You have to LET me!”

Okay, 1) I must be a slow learner when it comes to my heart catching up with God’s  truth and  2) the sons of Korah said it more poetically than I just did:

For the director of music. A maskil[c] of the Sons of Korah.

As the deer pants for streams of water,
    so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
    When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food
    day and night,
while people say to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”
These things I remember
    as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go to the house of God
    under the protection of the Mighty One[d]
with shouts of joy and praise
    among the festive throng.

“Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.

My soul is downcast within me;
    therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
    the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep
    in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
    have swept over me.

By day the Lord directs his love,
    at night his song is with me—
    a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God my Rock,
    “Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
    oppressed by the enemy?”
10 My bones suffer mortal agony
    as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
    “Where is your God?”

11 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
    Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
    for I will yet praise him,
    my Savior and my God.   Psalm 42:1-11 NIV

I share my all-too frail humanity with you all,  with someone else who, like me,has a hard time catching your heart up to God’s truth, to encourage you that GOD WILL NEVER LET YOU WALK ALONE! Even when you may be physically alone and in dicey circumstances, GOD IS  WITH YOU! Remember WHO  walked in the fiery furnace WITH Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego! He is the same today for you as he was then with them!

This is NOT just the power of positive thinking. Positive thinking couldn’t have gotten me out of any of these troubles or created any of these miracles. GOD DID!

Put your hope in God, for yes, you will yet find reason to praise Him!

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Yes, It Was a Miracle, and I Give God Grateful Praise

crashEx3 at beach

My eyes fixed on the headline on the front page of the newspaper in the rack at McDonalds and my heart stopped, remembering how close we’d come to death twenty-five years earlier. The front-page banner of The Arizona Republic read, “August 16, 1987 Crash.” I hadn’t fixed the date in my memory, but I knew immediately it was the flight we’d missed, and I had to sit down at the first table I could find and pour out my awed story to the first person I could find to listen.

 

Flashback to August 1987, about ten days before we’d fly to Detroit for my husband’s twentieth high school reunion. We were flying out on Friday and returning on Sunday, but the more I thought about the cost of our whole family flying – me and my husband and our two sons, ages twelve and one – to spend only Friday evening and Saturday with his old friends, the stronger grew my conviction that we ought to change our reservation and fly out on Monday, so he could have an extra day, Sunday, to visit with his old junior high and high school buddies.

 

“Honey, do you think you could take Monday off work?” I asked after he came home that evening, and I explained my thoughts about the cost/benefit ratio to my engineer husband. He replied that he’d ask about taking Monday off, and the next day called me from work to report that yes, he got the time off. Immediately I called our travel agent that afternoon and changed our flight from Sunday to Monday, encountering no problem in changing our tickets.

 

Bags packed, filled with enthusiasm, we all boarded the Northwest Airlines flight on Friday and happily landed in Detroit a few hours later. After dropping our bags and our boys off at his good friends Ken and Dee Dee’s home, my husband and I drove into Ann Arbor for the Friday night dinner with his classmates. What a fun reunion! Our boys connected with Ken and Dee Dee’s sons while I met new people I’d only heard about before. That night around the kitchen table at Ken and Dee Dee’s home, their boys, our boys and I opened wide eyes hearing teen-age misadventures of their fathers, including the laughingly told tale of a double date when the guys swapped dates while sitting in Ken’s car!

 

Saturday was filled with a family picnic and more Pioneer High School fun. We spent Sunday leisurely exploring town and connecting deeper with old school friends in Ann Arbor, away from radio and TV news. But what we heard Monday morning shocked me to the core of my being, and I gripped my husband’s hand and shook in my seat as we flew out over the wreckage of Northwest Airlines Flight 255, the plane we would have flown back to Phoenix on Sunday, that crashed on takeoff, killing everyone onboard except for two passengers, including one four-year-old girl. I knew that I knew that God was in the nudge I’d felt ten days earlier to change our return trip, and even though I couldn’t fathom why 152 people lost their lives, other families, other good people whose lives ended tragically, while our lives were spared to live on.

 

I read the Wikipedia account of the crash, so quickly found online, and tremble to this day at the Divine intervention that saved all four of us:

 

“Northwest Airlines Flight 255, a McDonnell Douglas MD-82, crashed shortly after takeoff from Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport on August 16, 1987, at about 8:46 p.m. EDT (00:46 UTC August 17), killing all six crew members and 152 of its 154 passengers.”

 

Those few words encompass terrible, tragic grief and loss, and terrible awe and wonder in me that, for whatever reasons, our lives were saved. My two sons are now wonderful men of faith, compassion, kindness, creativity, loyalty, dedication. selflessness, and intelligence, whose lives are positively impacting the world. As for me, I’ve lived through two terrible tragedies in the last eight years, yet I know, because of August 16, 1987, that God still has purpose for my life, purpose that I don’t yet understand in the two losses I’ve lived through. My heart knows what the hearts of those who lost loved ones on August 16, 1987, endured, and I’m changed forever, finding new compassionate understanding and deeper love for others than I’ve sometimes – often – felt my heart could contain.

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.    Habakkuk 3: 17-19a NIV

He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.Isaiah 40: 29-31

But now, this is what the Lord says—    he who created you, Jacob,    he who formed you, Israel:“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.2 When you pass through the waters,    I will be with you;and when you pass through the rivers,    they will not sweep over you.When you walk through the fire,    you will not be burned;    the flames will not set you ablaze.3 For I am the Lord your God,    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;  Isaiah 43: 1-3 NIV

This may be the greatest miracle of all for me: God’s heart of unrelenting, compassionate love for those who walk on, finding the courage somehow to rise up and live with grief that they carry forever after tragic loss. Somehow, through all of this, I have to believe yet that God is Love. Even when the miracles we pray for don’t come, life itself, sometimes simply the strength to go on in faith and love, free from the poison of bitterness and the bondage of no reasonable, satisfying answer to our heart-rent ”why’s”, is itself a miracle.

 

A”…BUT…”to pray: God,  I thank you that you’ve brought goodness in my life, and I thank you for _____________________________________________. I admit I question your goodness when _____________________________________________ BUT I know that, even when I don’t understand your reasons or plans, I  confess by faith that somehow, even in the most hurting, confusing times, YOU ARE there for me. Help me to see you and trust you, Father God, even in the darkness and silence of unanswered “why’s”. Lord, have mercy on me in my human limitations and feelings, and even when I don’t see a satisfying WHY, show me WHERE and WHO YOU are, in Jesus’ name. Holy Spirit, help me listen and help me hear YOU ___________________________________________________________________________